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(4) Self-Confidence. Self-confidence is the factor that convinces us that we are capable of achieving whatever goals we set for ourselves. Confidence around anything is a product of knowledge, experience and positive feedback and, without knowledge of SELF self-Confidence is not possible because we don't know who we really are or where we should be headed in life. Our internal compass is working; always pointing True North, but we don't know how to read it so are forever lost. And lost people are never truly confident.
Notice that the first part of the confidence formula (Knowledge + Experience + Positive Feedback = Confidence) is knowledge. Without true self-knowledge we cannot experience our truth and without experience we cannot give ourselves positive feedback or believe the positive feedback we receive from others. If you have ever tried to give a genuine compliment to someone who doesn't believe in their self, you know that they don't accept compliments very well. Many don't accept them at all. When others compliment them, they either assume the person is just trying to manipulate them or is too blind to see the truth. Without the ability to receive positive feedback from self or others, confidence is not possible.
(5) Self-esteem. Self-esteem is the factor which tells us we are worth whatever effort it takes to achieve our goals and realize our dreams. Self-esteem in combination with self-confidence is essential to success. We must believe that we are worthy of the continued effort that is necessary to keep moving toward our goals in spite of the trials and tribulations that life continues to present to us on a regular basis (self-esteem) and we must believe we are capable of getting past them (self-confidence).
Self-esteem; the belief that we are worth the effort, is absolutely essential for follow through. Without it we just buy the books, attend the seminars, buy the gym memberships, make the New Years resolutions and so on, but never follow through. We have to believe we are worth the effort or we won't keep making the effort. But we can't have self-esteem until the other four factors are in place.
We have to know who we are to determine where our passions lay (self-awareness). We must have our natural attributes developed and healthy to turn our passions into worthwhile goals (healthy development of natural traits). We must have the depth of awareness and strength of conviction to keep ourselves tracking authentically and to prevent the agendas of others from pulling us off course and derailing our efforts to achieve the goals we set for ourselves (personal boundaries). We must believe we can reach the goals we set before we will seriously pursue them (self-confidence) and we must know we are worth the effort (self esteem).
Once these five factors are in place, then having the particular knowledge that will help you successfully navigate your chosen path comes into play. AFTER; not before. If information on HOW to get rich or HOW to stay fit and healthy or HOW to have great relationships was enough, we could all just read a few good books and be everything we ever wanted to be. But, in spite of having hundreds of thousands of books, tapes, seminars, etc. at our disposal, most people never achieve success to anywhere near the extent they desire. The internal work has to be done first. If it isn't, you are just wasting your time and money.
Even people like Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling who rose to the top of Enron and made a fortune before the Enron scheme fell apart, had a strong sense of self, certain traits developed (though not likely healthy), personal boundaries that kept them from allowing others to infringe on them (never mind that they infringed on others), plenty of self-confidence and self-esteem. Clearly they believed they could pull off their scheme and that they were worth the effort, the money, the success, etc.
The Enron story also makes it perfectly clear that success is possible without principles such as honesty and integrity. Lay and Skilling appear to have been lacking in those values, yet they were, at least for a time, very successful. While principles and values may be optional, you MUST have the five factors outlined above. And it is my belief that to have true and lasting abundance, you must also have principles and values, such as honesty, integrity, generosity and consideration of others in place as well.
Principles and values are to abundance what nutrition is to the body. The human body can sustain itself for a very long time without nutrition, but if nutrition remains lacking eventually the body begins to break down, falls ill and dies. The same holds true for what appears to be abundance. The facade can be sustained for some time before the walls come tumbling down, but you can be sure that what you see on the outside really is just a facade. On the inside things are slowly (or perhaps rapidly) falling apart.
Absolutely every person you will ever run across that is truly successful has all five of the factors presented here in place. Every person who is unsuccessful has one or more of the essential five missing; sometimes all five.
To gain all five essential factors, you MUST begin with self-awareness. There is no other way to genuinely have the other four. And if you are not happy and content with who you are – not necessarily where you are in life – but who you are, you can bet that you don't have sufficient self-awareness. You don't know your authentic self. I can state that pretty safely, because everyone loves the self nature gave them. In 25 years of working with people I have never seen a single exception to that truth.
The only tool I know of that can get past the effects of conditioning and uncover an individual's true nature is the CORE Multidimensional Awareness Profile (CORE MAP). It is truly a MAP to the CORE of your being; to your authentic self. No other tool I have ever seen, and I have searched for 30 years, has the ability to do so much, so quickly and effectively. If you are not certain that you are functioning from your authentic self, you owe it to yourself to experience CORE MAP.
You have the formula now. The rest is up to you. Find your truth and your passion will become apparent. Find your passion and your motivation to realize it will drive you toward your goals automatically. Begin moving toward your goals and your sense of self will grow stronger and healthier because you will begin experiencing successes. As your sense of self grows stronger and your successes multiply, your self-confidence and self-esteem will increase and you will stop allowing the opinions of others to negatively impact you. It's a beautiful circle that begins with you (the real you) and results in your overall happiness and success.
Enjoy the journey!
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